For the heart I once had - For the hope I once held
by Yuriku
Summary: Josh made mistake , but now it was to late. You cant turn time back... This time Josh Newman lost everything he once had. Or maybe he did not? Or maybe he did? Maybe fate turned his back to him? Or maybe there is light in the end of dark? Maybe there is hope? Or there is not..?
1. Chapter 1

**This story is based on "the secret of immortal nicholas flamel" series , or more likely between 5th and 6th book , but my fic will be more twisted and well dark , maybe? Since while reading all series I thought well that Josh was basically treated like I don't know? Not really importantly? Or that there might have been more from his point of view?BUT I do love those series! well here is my version of story! P: enjoy. ;)  
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**r/r *puppy eyes* pleasseee it makes me write even faster knowing someone wants to read my story haha :) oh well til next time.  
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**~Aika  
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**xoxxo  
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**J**osh was sitting in dark room, knees against chest and head in his hands. He was tired, angry, frustrated and lost. It was 19 days since he joined Dee and left Flamel`s with his sister behind. He thought he did right thing choosing Dee, but now he was not so sure. When they left Dee had simply knocked him out with something and dragged to this cold, dark room Josh was sitting. Pulsing pain in his head was making him dizzy. It felt like thousand of needles were being slowly punched in his head. Suddenly it felt like there was red sheet in front of his eyes. Pain even became more worse than it was before. It felt like it was filling his veins, like battery acid running through him, making him shake to his core and scream in pain. His whole head throbbed – it felt like his heart was in his head, making loud "thumb-thumb" with each heart beat. For a moment Josh thought there was voices screaming in his skull, but it was to hard to think straight, everything felt like on fire, throbbing, aching, ripping him inside. Josh was scared about what might happen next, and what was happening already it felt ten times worse than being almost drowned.

Josh holds his knees even closer to his chest while watching tears run down his cheeks to floor and crashing there – crashing like all his life, all his hope, all his sanity, by now Josh feels like all the pain he feels will surely kill him, but God how much he wants to see his sister once again tell her how sorry he was, for leaving her, for making this mistake.

Josh thought Dee this magician was going to help him. He thought that Flamel`s used him only, but how deep wrong he was. Dee was evil- twisted sick evil.

Dee simply had beaten him- to the point where Josh felt like he was half dead. He had barely eaten anything. Josh felt like his own magic was slowly leaking out of his veins. Disappearing... like someone was sucking it out of him. Sometimes Josh would wake up with his heart beating loudly in his ears and metallic blood taste in his mouth. Sometimes Josh would wake up because he was being kicked in stomach, head, back. He no longer knew, everything just hurt to much to the point that it was impossible to know what hurt more.

Sometimes Dee would fire blast of flames harshly at him, making it feel like everything inside of him was on fire, he would scream beg for mercy... even beg for death. But he never got what he begged for only more beating.

Josh didn't know why Dee even kept him alive any more. He was no use. He could not control his magic. He could barely move. Or even breath some times.  
At least his arms were more free now – from chains he was chained to for first week, because he tried to fight back. Even when his wrists were so bruised that bleeding corn syrup dyed red slowly ran down – it felt like with every single drop of blood- his memories also faded, maybe it was death? Already knocking at the front door? Just waiting for his last breath? Josh wondered.

Josh wanted to be able to beat and destroy Dee, but he was just scared by now of that magician.. Dee. Masochistic. Sadistic. Psychopathic.

Josh wondered that maybe Dee kept him alive, just to break him? Leave him empty? And then what..? Josh did not know, but he knew even when it scared him that this battle he was slowly loosing. He felt everything slowly slipping away.

Josh felt like all happiness had left his soul, leaving him dark and cold. At first he tried to hold on hope that maybe Sophie is looking for him, maybe trying to find him... Josh hoped for it so much... He could no longer carry on. Half dead, half alive. Just lying on cold stony floor or being chained to wall, while Dee had beaten him, there was times Dee would sometimes bring Mother of the Gods. Josh no longer remembered name of that creature... but it would suck his blood out. Bite deep into his neck – while his screams of pain were stopped by strong blows to his stomach. After while Josh would only pass out with tears running down his already tear tracked cheeks.

Slowly he lost hope of Sophie finding him, maybe she no longer cared? Maybe she thought Josh sided with Dee now and would become maniac? Killer? Evil? Maybe Sophie thought he was worthless selfish bastard? Maybe his sister no longer called him her brother...

No matter how hard Josh tried to stop these thoughts it was impossible. They were always with him. Nagging him. Breaking him even more – because after two weeks and more Josh gave up on hope of Sophie finding him...

Josh no longer hoped for survive. He patiently waited for death to take him away from this paradise.

He was no good. At anything. He never listened to his sister, he thought Flamel`s were bad people, but how fucking wrong he was. Josh knew now. But it was late for it. He let real monster take him- destroy him. He let some creature drink his blood. Like he was food. Maybe that's why Dee kept him alive? Josh knew his eyes no longer showed any interest in life he saw through small window above his head. Josh felt like he was simply prisoner of life now, nothing more. With only death hanging by his side. Waiting for his last shallow breath. Josh knew was coming soon.

Suddenly Josh snaps his head towards noise he hears in the end of room. He can feel himself start to shake.. It cant be Dee. It is to early. It CANT! Even when Josh waits for death by now he is still scared- scared to face Dee and more of beating... Josh tries to curl into corner even more, but his painful body is no longer obeying him. He is to scared to lift his eyes that traveled down to look at floor. Josh is ready for more punishments more beating, but he hears voice he thought he would never hear...


	2. Chapter 2

"Josh Newman, Golden aura... my dear."

Josh blinks couple times and tries to clear his vision and focus on voice he is hearing. It cant. It simply cant be Mars Ultor. It cant be him... It cant be Mars Ultor that had awakened him. It did not make any sense because Josh knew Mars had been sided sides with Dee, but... why then he is here? To beat him more? This thought makes Josh flinch. Saying distress in young teens face Mars Ultor takes steps that were separating between them and gently puts hand on trembling shoulder.

"Josh Newman, pure Golden aura, legendary twin of silver aura. How comes you are here? Looking like old man that is to tired to live?"

Josh tried to shake old warriors hand of his shoulder, but it only held stronger. So in the end he just gave up – if Mars wanted to make fun of him, rub it in his face.. why not? It was not like it was not his fault for situation he was in. Josh knew that.

"Mars, if Dee ordered you to mock me go ahead I don't care, or no just kill me..." Josh knew his voice sounded raw and raspy, but again he did not care. What is the point if you are going to die soon anyway?

"Josh, Josh nobody orders me. I came here let me see... for my own thing. After all you are the one that should take my place after I – how should I say take long vacation? Josh you have my memories, my power. I awakened you. And I do not like saying someone I gave my knowledge and power rotting in this pitiful room. I came here to give you a chance...-

"Mars, cant you see? I am worthless. I cant even more let alone do any magic. I am weak.."

Mars smiled a sad smile – looking at this broken teen brought him weird emotions. Mars never had son, but he felt like Josh was somehow like son to him and there was no way he was letting Dee do what he likes with Josh no matter what kind of relationship they had. This was over top. Nobody touched something Mars Ultor marked. No matter what they were.

"And what is choice...? what choice do I have?"

"Josh, you have a choice to gain power to destroy Dee and everyone you wish to. You have a choice to start from new fresh page, you have a choice to rewrite your life-change history an-"

"But how is that possible? Cant you see me? Sophie is stronger than me there is nothing left.. in.. in my even all this magic inside of me whatever feels like it is fading away..."

Mars what angry really really angry at how teen was so broken and lost, Mars felt like wanted to kill Dee himself, but he knew he was not strong enough..

"Josh, you are strong, you are brave and smart. If you were what you said you are I would never awakened you. Do you understand?"

All he got was small nod of head. Well at least.. there was a start.

"Josh you have a choice, you will have all power you need if you... Become prince of underworld. In other words if you become Hades"

"I-.."

"Josh, do you want to rot here? Let Dee and that creature use you? Drink your blood? Beat you? Do you? Or you want to stand up from ashes? Make them pay?"

"I.." Josh was lost he did not know what to say, becoming Hades... meant... becoming darkness, but..-

"Do you want to protect your sister? Or you want her to get hurt same way you did by Dee?"

It hit Josh like tons of bricks. Dee. Sophie. Dee hurting Sophie. That creature drinking his sisters blood. Sophie crying, screaming, begging for mercy... Somehow Josh found new furry inside of him. There was no way he would let that monster lay a finger on his sister. No way in hell.

Dee could do anything with him, but he was never letting Sophie feel same pain he feels. Even when she probably hates him...

Saying understanding in Josh`s face Mars leans closer and asks.

"So Josh will you take choice?"

"But why..?" Josh seems a bit unsure.. but Mars knows he won this.

"Because you are like son to my Josh. You are like my family – I never had."

Josh seems be taken aback by what Mars said, but deep down Josh is glad knowing someone still cares about him, even when that someone is Mars Ultor. And Josh knows he wants revenge, and.. at that moment nothing more.

"I will. What do I have to do?"

Josh looks up to see Mars face and there is all sort of emotions in old warriors eyes. Sadness. Love. Suddenly Mars shakes his head.

"Josh there is only one way and please forgive me"

There is no time to respond, Mars leans in to Josh and grabs his chin lifting his head up – then crashing his lips against Josh`s. Josh tries to push away Mars with his weak arms, but old warrior just grabs his arms and pins them behind. Josh never kissed a man let alone someone who was probably hundred of years or even thousand of years older than him, it scares him. Feeling rough lips against his. When Josh feels like he was going to pass out different sensation starts to flood into him, wrapping his body in warm feeling, it feels like his skin is prickling with electricity, but in pleasant way. Josh never realizes how he closes his eyes, this feeling is so... enjoyable? There is no pain, no numbness just pleasant feeling of warm like sunlight, he doesn't even feel Mars lips against his any more. He no longer feels like he needs to take a breath. Josh feels peaceful and safe, like he finally found home. He no longer is scared of place he is in, he is no longer scared of Dee. No longer scared that his sister might hate him. He can smell oranges, his aura. It is strong smell, like magic is pulsing all around him. Tickling his skin. Josh wonders if he is shining outside in gold light. But he cant move – and he feels like he doesn't want to.

Suddenly he can feel Mars lips leaving his own, and Josh opens his eyes. Mars looks up to him, and there is fear... in his eyes. Why.. Josh is about to ask, but suddenly his body jolts like it has been hit by lightning. He lets out scream, and collapses to cold floor. While shaking like leaf in wind.

Mars tries to reach for teen, but suddenly he feels like he was struck with lightening himself he feels himself being lifter into air and thrown back. Crashing into opposite wall of room.  
Josh feels like something is ripping him from inside, filling him with something else, something dark and powerful, but all he can do is scream in agony. Josh`s mind is blurry he cant concentrate on anything- his memories keeps spinning behind his closed eye lids. He can feel blood in his mouth. Like he have bitten his tongue. Suddenly he feels like he might burst, burn, freeze at the same time, but then this feeling leaves and he is filled with something else.. Josh finally opens his eyes and feels tears splashing from his eyes, he lets one tear drop to his hand and it is black. But Josh doesn't feel scared he feels... strong... powerful...

And he find new feeling in him. Anger. It feels like anger is boiling his blood.  
Crawling for revenge. Josh feels like all chains inside of him broke free, letting everything out. He can see gold fire shinning around his fingers dancing like angry angels. Wanting to get free. To get revenge. To make people feel pain they felt. Suddenly flame shots out of his palm and takes a shape of raven, burning like sun, cold like moon raven. With Golden wings and black like night eyes. Somehow Josh feels like it is part of him. He lifts his hand and feels no pain he felt before. Raven cocks his head to side and looks at him, then jumps down to his arm and looks up with black eyes. Like asking "What are we going to do?" Josh smiles – smile that probably would have alone scared half of humanity.

"My dear" he says to raven "They people that hurt us Dee is all we seek now. We will be like snake. Like a snake we will slither. When they sleep we will smother. We will burn them, we will."  
Raven once again cocks his head to side once again, but there is spark in black eyes. Josh feels like he can do whatever he wants, like nobody is going be able to stop him. He knows Dee is going to pay for locking him away. Well Dee got what he want. Josh Newman now was not Josh Newman he was before. There was power pulsing in his veins that wanted to be free. And it will be soon.. Soon enough. Once Josh was prisoner of life, contaminated by this strife. With only death hanging by his side. But now he had cried black tears, and there is none left now. Anger boiled in his blood. This was what Dee made him to become. Made him take this step. Step he enjoyed now.  
Josh soul now was unleashed and hungry for pain. And begging s.

Suddenly there is his sisters picture in his mind, clear as day. Only light in darkness.

Josh vows not to let anyone hurt his sister the way he was.

Slowly he stands up looking at his ratty jeans with dried blood on them.

He snaps his fingers and his clothes are replaced by new black jeans, combat boots, black t-shirt, and leather jacket. He runs his fingers over blond hair. It feels like they are longer than before. Suddenly his fingers brushes past his ears, and he feels different shape, more pointed and longer.

But by now Josh Newman doesn't care.

He has hell to raise.

He turns around and see Mars Ultor looking at him with glint of fear in his pose.

Josh smiles.

"Dad, are you ready to raise a living hell?"

Mars Ultor smiles and takes one step closer.

"Yes, Josh Prince of underworld."

"I am Marethyu , not Josh any more. Josh Newman is gone."


End file.
